Once again, it's the "463 Night Before Christmas"-
"A 463 Night Before Christmas"
by M.H. Maggelet
T'was the night before Christmas,
and all through the land,
not a 2W2 was stirring,
for war was at hand.
No BUFF's on the pad,
no Chrome Dome alert,
no clip-in's were hung,
bomb racks gathering dirt.
The old 331's tucked away in their beds,
with thoughts of big mushrooms
dancing 'round their wise heads.
When up on the roof,
there arose such a clatter,
like steel toed boots on an old wooden ladder.
"Let's Roll!" said the Chief
in his OD field jacket,
a -1 in his hand that I barely made out.
His sled an old bomb truck,
quite ready to roll,
being led by some reindeer
and a fat little troll.
The troll had a carbine
that he poked at my knee,
demanding my badge at the roped ECP.
SRAM boosters a firing
we roared into the night,
destination unknown
but WSA soon within sight.
Manzano was closed and Sandia asleep,
so into the NAM we took a good peek.
When to my surprise but what did I see,
the bay was alive with teams of old 463's!
The smell of fresh paint
and tons of lead foil,
a B28RE was the result of their toil.
The pace was quite hectic,
there was work to be done,
in a place of great honor
was displayed 35-51.
They wheeled in a Mk5 all covered with dust,
running 'round a test set, making such a big fuss.
The HE was fruitcake,
the det's Christmas lights,
a cartridge from Wal Mart,
but no capsule in sight.
An old 332 with birdcage
soon arrived to the task,
a silver tree ornament
scrounged out of the trash.
Away in a corner a lone team chief did type,
IRC entries reading "Preparation for Strike".
With IFI done there was no time to waste,
the frag order had come, time to make haste.
Our mission a secret,
you'll understand why,
for on each weapon we stenciled
a big "FDNY".
We convoyed outside to the NAM's B-29,
the load crew some elves meeting EWO on time.
Up in the skies there was a sight to be seen,
came a B-36 to drop our Mark 17!
Fins, timers, and baro's
(the PAL was unlocked),
MACE, TITAN, and BUFF- fueled, armed, and COCKED!
A task had arisen for our base EOD,
was that an untapped beer keg, or W25 RSP?
The MITO soon started in clouds of black smoke,
Kirtland tower was aghast, was this all a big joke?
A rich camel jockey, a new Taliban hero,
had the distinction of being our target ground zero.
Our pass was quite high,
chutes deployed just for fun,
for the bomb we just dropped
was a Mark 41!
My face it was sunburned,
my line badge had melted,
was it something I dreamed,
all those targets we pelted?!?
I turned on Fox News and my heart it did flitter,
for Osama and al Qaeda were now Crispy Critters!
Rushing downstairs and gazing under the tree,
Santa left me a present, my very own B43!
The Chief tipped his flask as he flew outta sight,
"To all Nuke Pukes Merry Christmas, and to all a good night!"
